


Pain and Relief

by GirlWhoLovesMonsters



Series: Johnilyn (Slipping Away) [3]
Category: Johnilyn - Fandom, Johnny Depp - Fandom, Marilyn Manson - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 02:21:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12878142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlWhoLovesMonsters/pseuds/GirlWhoLovesMonsters
Summary: When his best friend is suffering how far will he go to bring him some relief?





	Pain and Relief

Brian sat on his couch, some movie playing on the wall in front of him, he wasn't really paying attention. He was numb. Numb to everything. He had taken extra meds, everything he had available both prescription and not. He'd drank almost an entire bottle of vodka. He couldn't stand to feel anything. Everything hurt, he wanted the constant ache to stop. He sat there in the dark, by himself. People called, he ignored them. He didn't want to deal with them, or the shit. None of it. He honestly wasn't even sure why he felt this way in particular today. He just didn't want to deal with anything or anyone. He'd had good and bad days, as they passed with him just breathing. He wasn't living, he wasn't surviving. He just was. A body at this point. He was a body, in pain, and lost. Forced to take himself out of the world he'd created and face the reality he'd been avoiding for months. He finally reached numb. He relished in it. He hadn't left his living room other than to go to the bathroom since he'd been discharged. 

A loud knock pounded on his door. He grunted and turned his head, willing whoever it was to just go away. Leave him here to rot the day away. He'd try again tomorrow. He was doing just fine on his own. No big deal. 

The knocking didn't stop. He didn't want to get up. He couldn't and wasn't going too. He was wounded. All of him. He was broken literally and his ego was as well. He didn't like not being able to tough it out, or just roll with the punches. This time the punch took him out. Stupid cast on his leg was itching and driving him insane. 

Finally he heard the door open and close. What in the literal fuck! He thought to himself still not moving. 

"Brian!?" A voice called out to him. 

"Huh?" Brian grumbled. 

"Dude what the hell? I've been calling you for days! You alright? What, are you living on this couch!? The fuck man! Are you stoned?" Johnny complained, picking up pill bottles and throwing them down on the table. "Shit man. What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?" 

Brian just scoffed at the idea shaking his head. For a fleeting moment he got nervous. What if he was about to die. Is this what death felt like? He'd been high many times, fucked up and even overdosed, in all his experiences he'd never felt this level of sedated numbness. Euphoria in a weird sense. Everything was gone, he could just be. In silence, the voices in his head gone, the throbbing of his heart silenced. His body felt like it wasn't his, he was a soul borrowing skin. 

"Why do you do this shit!? Huh? Dude, you know you can call me to come help you. How much of this have you taken today? I thought you were done with this. Do we need to hire you a fucking home nurse and lock it up? Brian, please look at me. I don't know how to help you. You're fucking hurt, I thought you might've died, fucking google search says you may have, You're eating pills instead of food it looks like and you smell like a fucking hobo in a bar. Did you bathe in vodka?" His voice cracked but he corrected it. "Brian" he started over in a softer voice, noticing his yelling and reprimanding wasn't even phasing him at this point. "You're my best friend dude. If something had happened to you, I would fall apart. I need you to take care of you. Not just for me, but for you. You've got to stay clear and focused. So many people love you, and need you to be all the things that you set out to be. This person, in front of me..." Johnny approached him, squatting in front of him so he could look him in the eye. "This person, is not you. I know you're hurt, angry, in pain, probably a little depressed, all of this is normal. You are not alone though. No matter what you think, or feel about it, you are not alone. I will move in and carry you around if I need too, but this has to stop."  
He finished his speech and sighed at him. Brian remained stone frozen blinking at him.  
"K, good talk. I'm going to clean some stuff up for you and I'll figure out a way to help you shower. I'll order some food. If you want I'll crash here tonight. Shit... this is my fucking house... I will stay here, just because I want too. You'll just have to deal, huh?" His tone was more than agitated, but also caring.  
He smiled at him, before tussling his hair. He knew he probably sounded a million miles away to him. Like his head was under water. His voice not coherent in whatever world he was in at the moment.

Johnny cleaned up the room, opened the curtains much to Brian's dismay and let the light in. He organized the things he had somehow gotten down there, and gathered other things he thought he might want or need. A make shift mini house in the living room. He could at least hobble to the kitchen and bathroom. They weren't far. About 2 hours into his frenzy he noticed Brian had barely moved, he just sat there, staring at him confused. He walked over and squatted in front of him again. Snapping his fingers in front of his face. "Dude, you in there? Do I need to call 911." 

Brian shook his head no. 

"K, can you say something? Anything?" 

Brian took a deep breath. "Johnny." 

"What's up?" Johnny encouraged him to continue.

"I'm going to throw up. Trash can"  he pointed over at the basket. 

Johnny blinked at him in surprise for a second and shoved the basket in his lap just as he lost the contents of his stomach. He wretched for a while after that, heaving up nothing. Johnny tried not to gag, his stomach was weak. He held himself together, trying to think about all the times he'd literally held vomit in his hands because he had a sick child. He had to hold it together. He stayed still, not sure how to really comfort his friend. He thought of things he'd do naturally but he wasn't sure what Brian would do in response. For the first time he felt like he didn't know him at all. All the years they'd been friends, he was actually unsure of what to do. 

Brian just seemed so fragile, he didn't want to make it worse. He just patted his back as best he could.  
Whispering encouragement to him like he would Lily or Jack. "There you go, you're gonna be just fine. Get it out man, just get it out." He spoke softly but not like a parent to a child. He didn't mask his concern though. 

Brian's breathing was ragged, he sniffled a lot in between heaving. His eyes were watering, Johnny was pretty sure he was crying but he wasn't even going to mention it. He was sure he was hurting, and not just physically. He needed to get so much out of him. 

"Can you hold this? Or do you think you're done for now?" Johnny asked quietly letting Brian take hold of the basket. He stood up, his legs had gone to sleep, so standing felt weird. He shook his legs out, and walked towards the kitchen. Brian hardly even glanced at him. 

When Johnny returned he had a cool wash cloth and some water. He rubbed his face with the cloth and the back of his neck. After a while Brian started to shake. He was sweating, irritated. Honestly seemed like withdrawal but that wasn't likely considering. He put the water to his mouth and had him drink it.  
"Do you want me to help you to the bathroom or anything?" Just as soon as he'd said it, he realized he was probably a little late on that offer. There was a huge wet spot on the blanket he sat on, and his pajama pants were wet. Though, Johnny didn't even think Brian noticed. He was son far out of it. Brian just nodded his head no. 

"Nah, come on man. You need to at least try, and brush your teeth. I'll help you. I promise." Johnny tried to sound reassuring and not give any hint that Brian may have pissed himself. 

"Fine." Brian breathed out annoyed and pitifully.

Johnny helped him to his feet, helping him steady. He couldn't put any weight on his leg because of the surgery. Johnny reached over as best he could to where the wheelchair was sitting, and got it clumsily over to them. "Should of prepared better huh!" He chuckled to himself mostly. He shifted and sat Brian in the chair. He wheeled him to the bathroom, handing him his toothbrush and toothpaste he turned the water on for him. "Here, do this and I'll be right back okay." 

While he left the room, he hurriedly tried to clean up the couch and surrounding area. He pulled the blankets off the couch quickly and ran them to the laundry room, grabbing some cleaner stuff and some clean blankets. He also grabbed the mop. When he came back he sprayed the chemicals on everything then wandered back to the bathroom. "Going okay?" 

Brian was somehow still brushing his teeth. "Mmhmmm" He garbled over the toothbrush in his mouth, before spitting in the sink. Alright. Hang out for me, I'll get s cup so you can rinse and something to wrap your leg in so we can get you in the shower. 

He ran back to the living room, scrubbed the couch, and forced a king size fitted sheet to fit onto it, cramming the slack into the cushions. He grabbed a cup and a trash bag, and some tape. Ran back to the bathroom. 

"What are you doing? You're all out of breath and shit." Brian asked flatly. 

"Well, I figured I'd get you clean sheets and stuff, and finish cleaning up some stuff since you weren't loafing in the way" 

"Thanks man." He mumbled. 

"Yeah. Alright, so... arms up!" Johnny said enthusiastically, raising  Brian's shirt over his head.  
"Alright man, pants." Johnny was actually kinda glad Brian was out of it. He couldnt be weird nor really embarrassed by the current situation. He thought briefly about how they were naked together making that video and they were both so awkward about it. Well how times have changed, Johnny thought to himself. As he slipped his pants over his cast. He laid a towel over his lap, just in case he managed to realize what was happening, helping him preserve some manner of decency and dignity. He explained what he was doing and why he was doing it. How he was doing it. He knew Brian was so fucked up he'd have to re-explain it all again tomorrow but it felt like the right thing to do. Sometimes he'd respond normally, other times he'd just stare at him. Johnny wasn't sure if he was riding out the liquor at this point or the pills, nor did he know what in the world he'd actually ingested or how much. Dammit he intended to find out. He'd be here when Brian came too, and he'd get the answers he needed. 

Johnny hadn't actually planned out how to get him clean, seeing as how it took him fifteen minutes to brush his teeth, and he can't even stand up. There was no seat in the shower, nor a tub to fill. Stall shower in the downstairs guest bathroom. Johnny immediately planned how he'd change that in the future for just in case. "Shit man... um... alright, so this is what's up. I'm getting in the shower with you. So I'll get in first, and then I'll help you in as much as we can get you in here." In this moment Johnny was actually glad the shower head was removable. Not enough to just clean him in the chair but enough that he could keep his leg propped up outside the shower on the chair seat. The shower was small enough he could do this and lean his back against the wall. This bathroom used to be everyone's least favorite part of this house, but right now Johnny was thankful for the tiny shower. 

He undressed, and folded his clothes up on the counter. Turning on the water he got in letting himself adjust accordingly. "Alright man, help me out here." He hoisted him up and helped him into the shower, and propped him up. He took the shower head and sprayed him all over. "Water feel okay?" 

"Mmmhmm." Brian mumbled. He took a deep breath and sighed, resting his head against the wall. "Dude, I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about that right now. How are you feeling?" 

"Like shit. But I'm glad you're the one helping me." 

"Yeah, guess you wouldn't want just anyone scrubbing you down huh?"

"Dude, I don't even shower with my girlfriends nor my wife."

"Well, I'm honored to have this privilege." 

Brian snickered as did Johnny. "Man shut the fuck up." Brian mumbled hardly even coherently. Closing his eyes as his head rested back on the wall. Johnny started working the soap into the sponge. "You awake?" 

"Yeah."

So what do you think you want for dinner?"

Johnny was trying to keep him taking. If they were talking it helped with the awkwardness of the situation. He started with his arm, grabbing his hand, starting with his wrist he lathered the soap up his arm to his shoulder and back down, making sure to get all of his long arm, he traced the sponge along his collar bone, cleaning his neck and working his way over his other arm. The water cascaded down over him gently, just enough to keep him warm but not enough to get the soap off yet. Johnny worked the sponge over his chest, down his stomach, stopping at his hips, he traced back up, getting his left side, and back down, back up, slowly getting his right side. He moved around to help get his back, he pressed himself against him to help him stabilize. 

Brian felt himself relaxing against Johnny's body, the fog in his head clearing some. The water felt good, the shower it's self felt good. Even Johnny's hands on his skin felt good. Everything just felt good. He just let himself enjoy it. Johnny had him almost in a hug, his arms under his own, helping him to not fall over while he cleaned his back. He noticed Brian was relaxing, despite all the awkward in the beginning, for now Johnny was just content helping his friend feel better. It wasn't weird any more, it was just the thing to do. He figured there was nothing wrong with it, he'd make it enjoyable. He let his fingers work over his back, pressing into the tissue, kneading his muscles. He unhooked one arm, so he could focus on his neck with it and the other hand kept tracing deep patterns into his flesh. Brian sighed almost a moan. "Feel good?" Johnny asked casually. 

"Yeah man. You have no idea." Brian got out.

Johnny kept working his hands over him, helping him lean back against the wall again. Those hands began to trail back down his arms, working those muscles as well. He let his hands knead over his chest, rubbing circles into his pecks and rub gently over his stomach. He did it slowly, letting the soap be the massage oil, he worked it into his skin, as his fingers trailed over him, he noticed Brian was getting a little aroused. Johnny, moved his hands back up, grinning to himself, mostly because he knew Brian wasn't likely trying to be inappropriate, stuff just happens. Johnny decided to massage his hands a bit before, dropping to his knees, and picking the sponge back up. 

"Johnny." 

"What?" Johnny asked as he began lathering soap again. 

"I always knew you'd be the on your knees." Brian started sarcastically trying to make light of what was happening. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure this is your dream come true. Now you can tell everyone Johnny gets on his knees for me." He laughed, working the sponge over his injured leg first. He started at the cast and worked up to his knee, he trailed the sponge over his outer thigh and ran it back down the back of his leg, slowly pushing it back up to go over the rest of his leg and his ass cheek. He moved to the other leg, starting at his ankle he lathered his shin and calf slowly, watching the soap bubbles popping against his skin as the hairs on his legs mixed with them. He made his way to his thigh and again worked the sponge over his ass and back down again. He moved the sponge over his hips and across the space between them. Slowly making his way to the point of no return. Brian at this point almost had a full erection, though he really didn't mean too. Despite Johnny being comfortable-ish because of Brian's sedated state, Brian was panicking inside his own head. Thinking about any and everything from, grocery lists to dead puppies, trying to keep himself getting actually turned on. Soft gasps and moans came out. It felt good, he couldn't help that. He knew he'd get hard, that wasn't difficult to do, you touch bodies they respond, he was very responsive. He didn't expect to actually get turned on by it. He just kept his eyes closed, knowing that for Johnny he was just helping a friend out and was probably ignoring the fact that his dick wasn't flaccid. 

Johnny kept working those hands over him. He let the sponge travel between his thighs, working the area he'd skipped earlier, he drifted over his testicles and giggled as he saw Brian squirm a little at the touch and hitch his breathing. In truth him being slightly hard, was making it easier to clean, Johnny thought he'd remember in the future. He worked the sponge over his length gently, to not be uncomfortable or invasive but with enough pressure to not tickle. Brian let out a squeaky moan. He curled his lips in over his teeth, trying to ignore the sensation. It felt good though. At this point he couldn't deny that it did, it didn't matter who was touching, they were touching just right. 

Johnny looked up at him, to see his facial expression, grinning himself. He'd never been his close to another mans dick before and he'd certainly never caressed one so gently. Not even his own. He decided to play with him a little, just to be annoying. He would rub the sponge back over his hips and down, letting it graze across him. Every time it touched his length he'd squirm a little bit, gasp and he got harder. He was chewing his bottom lip so much Johnny wondered if that's why it was so plump in the first place. He did this for a while before working the sponge over the top of his foot. That'll have to do, no way I can get the bottom right now. Whew, who the fuck new cleaning your best friend would make you hard, in response to them being hard. He thought to himself, as tried to will away his own growing erection. There's no reason for this. Not turned on, just entertained? He reasoned with himself. There was truly not supposed to be anything sexual about what was happening, but he couldn't deny it was fun and intimate. 

He set the sponge down again and started massaging up his leg. He pressed and rubbed his calf, getting more moans of approval from the other. His hands stroking over the flesh expertly. He made his way up his thigh, making sure to get both of them. Brian at this point was breathing unevenly, soft gasps and moans escaping him here and there as Johnny worked over his body. He made his way to his ass and he kneaded it too. He worked his fingers into the flesh of his lower back and down his butt. Neither of them spoke much, they didn't need too. He worked silently but quickly, while also taking his time.

He trailed his hands up his sides over his ribs as he slowly stood back up. "Hmmm, well that's disappointing." Johnny mumbled.

"Hmmm? What?" Brian asked both confused and insulted. 

"It's just, that, they're all here and accounted for."

"What's all here and acco... are you fucking serious?" Brian asked accusingly.

Johnny chuckled and grabbed the shower head spraying him off taking extra care of his hurt leg.

He sprayed the water into his hair, and then grabbed some shampoo. "When's the last time you washed your hair man?" 

"I don't usually. I use some dry shampoo stuff. Helps the color stay longer and my hair doesn't get so damaged. I mean I do wash it, just not like, every day." 

"Hmmm. That must be what this is then. Spray." 

"Yeah, it makes my hair feel weird" 

Johnny started working his fingers into circles on his scalp. Rubbing hard, working the shampoo into a thick lather. He used his nails, scratching his scalp lightly but just perfectly. Brian hummed in bliss at the sensation. There was no denying it felt great. He wondered to himself why the fuck they weren't doing this sooner in life. Before he was ready the sensation stopped, and water was running down over him as Johnny rinsed the soap from his hair. He groaned in protest. Johnny chuckled in response. "Guess you liked that?" 

"Yeah, felt good. I'm usually the one doing the things ya know." 

"Yeah man. I know. I'm just glad I could help you. I'm happy you let me help you. You bout ready to get out? You feel okay? You've been standing for a while." 

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm a lot less fuzzy, I drank way to much, took some extra meds." Brian was groggy at best but lucid. He'd come down a lot from his drunken stoned stupor though it hadn't completely worn off. Johnny grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist, stepping out of the shower. 

"You good? I'm going to wipe down the chair real quick and put a towel over it for you. Need me to help dry you off or you got it?"  He lowered Brian's leg from the chair, handing him a towel to start with. 

Brian grinned his bratty grin and raised his brow.

"I think I need help."

Johnny rolled his eyes at him, but nodded in agreement. He finished what he was doing and then helped him get out of the shower. "I'm glad you're not dead weight anymore at least. It was a bitch getting you in here." 

"I'm sure." Brian groaned.  "I didn't mean to take too many. I couldn't make it stop hurting. Everything I did made it worse, the meds weren't helping, because I'm a fucking addict and I can't control it. I didn't mean too. I actually got a little worried that I may have finally done it. I thought I'd die. Only because the pain finally went away. All of it. Just numbness."  His voice trailed off as it cracked a little. He shook it off. Johnny helped him lean against the counter before he crouched in front of him, toweling off his legs. 

Just like before he did it slowly, letting his fingers occasionally graze his skin as he worked up his body. Brian thought to himself, who would have thought, being dried off could feel like sex. I'm going to have to get laid soon, if Johnny drying me off is turning me on... shit... dead puppies, dead puppies, ham, drum sticks, sweaty groupies, stop, stop, stop.... he was trying so hard to remain cool, to be unaffected by what was happening but he was getting hard, and for that he temporarily hated his manhood. He couldn't get away with anything because it told on him. 

Johnny maintained composure and just worked around it. He'd let it go, attribute it to the haze, and the touch. Won't mention it. 

He sat him in his wheelchair and dried his face and hair. "You coulda done this part ya know. You're only like 6 feet taller than me." He laughed but looked serious. Brian stuck his tongue out at him. 

Johnny wheeled him out of the bathroom into the living room. "You never answered me about dinner." He casually went on his way and walked upstairs towards the master bedroom. 

"Rice?" 

"Seriously, you want rice? Like a hung over college kid."  He called back.

"Shut up! Will you bring me some pants? Please?"  
Johnny came down the stairs with some pajama pants and T-shirt. He tossed the shirt at him so he could put it on. As Brian fumbled with his T-shirt Johnny was working the pant leg over his cast to put them on the rest of the way. After a bit of a struggle Brian was dressed. Johnny called in some take out imitation Hibachi, and finished setting up the couch. 

He got him situated on the couch again and propped his leg up. While waiting on the delivery he busied himself with cleaning up the house and starting the laundry. Brian lazed on the couch in and out of sleeping. 

The delivery driver finally arrived. Johnny got the door and the driver stared at him like he had three heads. Johnny initially wrote it off as being recognized because he is Johnny Depp. When he went to reach into his pocket, he realized, he was standing there with the towel still wrapped around his waist, hair still wet, he was a disheveled mess. He awkwardly nodded and went to get cash from his pants, he'd put in the washing machine. Handing the man a soaking wet bill, he told him to keep the change and closed the door as quickly as he could. Brian was laughing hysterically about the situation.

"You fuck ass, you could have said something."

"I know. But this was so much better."

"Yeah well you pissed yourself and I cleaned it up." 

Brian's eyes went wide and he felt the flush rising over his body. He darted his eyes down trying to come up with some witty thing to say but he had nothing. Johnny actually felt bad he didn't mean to upset him. He sat the food down and brought him some water. "Here, drink. I didn't mean to be an ass. You know that? That was out of bounds. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry man. Why are you even here? You didn't have to do that. I could have taken care of it. That's so gross." Brian's voice was sullen and low. 

"Drink the water you're going to be dehydrated. Do I need to feed you or can you handle that?" Johnny ignored his statement.   
"Can I have some tea or something please?" 

"No. You can have water. I'll bring you all the water you want. You need water right now. After we eat I'll bring you your meds that are due." 

Brian sighed slightly annoyed but he didn't complain or argue. He just nodded and started picking at his food. 

"Uh-uh you need to eat. Stop picking at it. I know your stomach probably feels woozy and you're groggy, but you've got to eat more than a few grains at a time. I've got all night man. 3 big bites, lets go, you can do it."  
Brian only sighed in response as he forked the food into his mouth. He was tired, worn out, the shower exhausted him, the drugs and alcohol dazed him, though they were wearing off he wanted to curl up and sleep. He knew though that his friend was right and was only trying to help. 

A few cups of water later, they had finished their meals. Johnny took him to the bathroom again, and settled him back onto the makeshift couch bed. He organized all of his meds into daily doses and set them out. When he came back into the living room, Brian had fallen asleep. Johnny plugged his phone in, made sure he had everything he might need. He walked upstairs to the master bedroom, and getting ready to lay down he noticed the towel. I seriously still have this fucking towel on. Geez. At this point though he didn't even care. He threw the towel on the floor and crawled into Brian's big bed. He sent him a text letting him know he was upstairs and his phone was on so if he needed him he'd be there.  He better not ever pull this shit again. Guess I'm staying here for a while. God help me, I love this crazy fucker.


End file.
